Why Journal?
It all started on weekend in February in the Hare Krishna Valley just outside of Deans Marsh …
You could picture a weekend retreat in the bush with Yoga, freshly cooked vegan & vegetarian food made so lovingly by the Hare Krishna community. Rest, meditation and a sense of coming home to yourself. All that is true but also this: I’ve never done so much intense inner work in all my life! It was exhausting, it was confronting and soon aptly named by me (a spiritual exfoliation) Amanda (@builtfromthefire) who organised this retreat is a Transformation Coach, connecting people to their life purpose and empowering them to transform their life. She also is a real life and in touch human who does the hard yards – the shadow work, the hard inner work. She isn’t peddling “snake oil remedies” to deliver all the answers to you. She is making you do the work, to find the answers you need & to let go off all the things holding you back.
Amongst all the emotional release work, spiritual cleansing etc. one thing that was consistent with every single session or exercise we did: Journaling. This is such a powerful and simple exercise I have always known about but haven’t done since I was a teenager with the “Dear Diary, why doesn’t blah blah love me?”. This simple process was the one element that tied all the work together that was done during that weekend retreat. I felt the difference it made, and this is why I have gone into the background of my own experience with Journaling. I want you to really understand it and to take it on so that you can experience for yourself the power it has. We have been told for ages: it is great for mental health, processing emotions and planning. But when your mentality is it’s “another thing I have to do” and “who can be bothered with that? I’m busy enough!” Then you are not going to be able to use it as the transformational tool it is & it does become “Dear Diary, blah blah spoke to me today!” and so nothing changes for you.
This is why I am including Pregnancy, Birth & Post-partum Journals for all my Parents who attend the Hypnobirthing Australia Positive Birth Education Program. It is the beginning of empowerment of your journey. By embracing this physical practice of self-reflection, you can define & explore:
· Values/Visualisation
(What does a positive birth look like to you? – visualise & describe this)
· Fears/Previous beliefs
(First impressions/stories of birth – did they make you fearful? Name your fears)
· Emotions/Triggers
(What triggers your extremes/what is your emotional go to? Anger, withdrawal etc.)
· Mental/Emotional blocks
(Previous Trauma/Experiences that have made you avoid or have set limits in your life?)
· Relationships/Boundaries
(Difficulties with others: Mother-in-law/friends etc. that are or could be an issue)
Now it seems like I am only mentioning the negatives here, right? Well, mostly yes, I am. Because the focus of effective Journaling starts with clearing the slate! You see the first one – Values? That is the reason you want to do this. Aligning with your core value of what your birth means to you and what your visualisation for a positive birth is. You need this. You also need to know what exists inside and outside of yourself that can potentially hold you back or stop you from achieving this. Enter the next part of Journaling, Planning & Action:
· Goals/Aims
(Be very clear on what you want, this ties in so closely with your values!)
· Resources/Supports
(Who or what do you have in your corner to help? Not sure? Start looking.)
· Tools/Techniques
(Meditation, Yoga, Massage, Walking, conflict resolution, counselling - what do you need?)
· The Boundaries/Non-negotiables
(Clearly state personal, interpersonal etc. boundaries – this will help clear communication)
· Timelines/Set a Deadline
(6 weeks or 6 months - give your planning & action time - when you need it to happen or how long you want it to take).
Self-reflection and planning are essential for creating action – for bringing forth change. It is also important for the pregnancy, birth and post-partum journey for so many reasons but I will only mention the main ones here today (we can always discuss more in class!).
Pregnancy: You have the most amazing nine months to connect – with yourself, your partner and your baby. You have so much time to prepare, even if you don’t realise it! Just 15min a day of journaling can keep you in touch. Help you feel grounded, work through things you may face during this time and leave you feeling empowered for this journey. You have a way to address what you need, your plan and your actions to achieve it. Now, when you enter your birth and journey into parenthood – you do so with a clear, calm heart and mind.
Birth: Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (2019) Includes in an amazing collection of positive birth stories. Joel’s Birth Story: Kathleen’s contractions had started but not progressed, a day passed, and it was then, her midwives asked her “Do you have anything to discuss, to get out in the open?”. In shock Kathleen started to reflect, to go deep. There was something: Hidden fears about motherhood, her partners willingness and emotional ability to support this new family. She had to verbalise these feelings to free her body up to allow her to birth. It was then, Kathleen and her partner talked, and Kathleen felt her energy shift – by clearly stating her feelings and needs without blame. “This birth turned out to be my first major proof that mind and body are one”. Positive, loving words and statements between them then flowed and Kathleen’s cervix opened. Kathleen’s reflections on Joel’s birth (twenty-three years later!) were “This experience taught me how very important our thoughts are in manifesting the reality we experience as “material”. I had a new tool to use in observing the world, which I continue to use.”. We can clearly see here in Kathleen’s story how journaling and self-reflection practices for birth can make a big difference – what we hold onto in the mind, we hold onto in the body!
Post-Partum: It is always a great idea to write your birth Story down. Reflecting on this experience can help you process what you loved and what left you feeling empowered and what maybe you didn’t like or what left you feeling frightened or disempowered in your experience. The reason this is important after you have had your baby is: How are you feeling going into parenthood after your birth experience? You may need to work though some things and take some actions to make sure you are going into this new phase of your life in the best possible way. In my previous Blog article (Feb 2023, Birth, Baby & Beyond) I have gone through the importance of Positive Birth and the journey into parenthood, how you experience parenting with you baby in the years that follow birth. So please read this article for more information if you require.
Have I convinced you to pick up the journal in your Birth Pack? I really do hope so! It is my job as a Hypnobirthing Australia Practitioner to make sure that all parents who attend my Positive Birth Education classes are getting the very best resources and education to prepare for “Birth, Baby and Beyond”. As always, I provide opportunity for discussion during class and by private appointment for individual coaching to meet your specific learning needs.
